Doritos: The Quest

Okay, because I'm a sucker for gimmicky foods, I bought a bag of Doritos: The Quest. Matrix-green letters on the shiny black bag promise, "Guessing the flavor is just the beginning . . ." For me, I expect it may be the end, as well.

As I open the bag, the tangy smell makes my nose tingle. My first thought is lime. My second is vinegar.

The underlying color of the chips is yellow with brown speckles. However, a splotchy pale green haze shadows the valleys of the chip's surface. There's a heavy dusting of large white crystals, which I presume are salt. I'll be honest . . . the shade of green is not the most appealing. It's not guacamole green, nor lime green. It's sort of . . . something-left-sitting-too-long green.

Okay, now to taste it . . .

Lime is the overwhelming flavor. Also, they are very salty. There's a zippy zing going that I don't have a name for. It's kind of interesting, though, and not at all unpleasant.

I don't drink, but I've heard that tequila typically has a lime-and-salt thing going. So maybe they're tequila flavored? But since I've never tasted tequila, I can't really confirm that. The chips are pretty tasty, though. But very, very, very salty. Oh my God, now I'm incredibly thirsty.

Time to chug some water.