Jones Soda Holiday Pack: Antacid Flavored Soda

All right, ladies and gentlemen (I say as if anyone actually reads this blog), it’s time for the fifth and final selection from this year’s Jones pack: Antacid Flavored Soda. Although it comes complete with a little plastic dosage cup (marked in cubic centimeters, milliliters, fluid ounces, tablespoons, and drams, so you can measure it however the heck you want), they are careful to assert that it is not actually medicinal. This pastel pink atrocity has been taunting me since I first laid eyes on it, and I have been awaiting this moment with great dread. The very concept of antacid flavored anything--particularly when it is not actually antacid--is deeply disturbing.

Under the cap: “Imagine whirled peas.”
My response: Boy, someone was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for cap messages. Talk about going out with a whimper.

It really does smell like Pepto Bismol . . .

*guh*

It really tastes like it too. Complete with that chalky aftertaste. I find myself rubbing my tongue on the roof of my mouth, just as I do when I drink actual liquid antacid. Of all their flavors, this is the one which truly most closely matches up with the actual taste it’s supposed to represent. However, I’m not actually sure whether that’s a good thing. If you close your eyes, only the viscosity and carbonation tell your mouth it’s not actual Pepto.

Ugh. What were they thinking!?

But it’s still better than the pea soda.