Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Jones Soda Holiday Pack: Pea Soda

Yes, you read that right. Pea Soda.

First, I must comment on the color of the pea soda--somewhere between green and yellow, it is not a color that any food or drink ought to be. Perhaps “pea” is misspelled, because it looks rather more like “pee.” The repulsive hue alone is enough to turn my stomach, but I must at least taste it, in order to make an accurate judgment of the flavor.

Under the cap: “Your reputation for being honest will bring rewards.”
My response: *shrug* Can’t argue with that. But sometimes it’s hard to tell rewards from punishments.

Now I’m staring at the bottle, afraid to take a sip . . .

Okay . . . still psyching myself up . . .

Closing my eyes . . .

I got the bottle near my face, and the smell was enough to make me put it back on the table. I can not describe this odor, other than “not food.” Peas are not necessarily my favorite vegetable (legume, whatever), but I like them well enough. This vile, cloying smell, however, is not pea.

Okay, ready to try again . . .

Oh. Dear. God.

This taste, also, is most decidedly not pea. This ranks somewhere between last year’s flavors of Brussels sprout and wild herb stuffing, which is to say darn nasty. Also, it is sweet. Really sweet. Now, I do have a wild sweet tooth, but there are good sweets and there are bad sweets, and this is definitely a bad sweet. It’s considerably worse than the disgusting Japanese white candy pellets you buy--and throw away uneaten--in order to get the cool toys. In fact, that’s actually the closest flavor comparison I can make to this soda.

Okay, I’ve had my sip. Time to pour the rest into the toilet.

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