Monday, November 27, 2006


Either the cows are too weak, or my sorceress is too strong. I’ve been playing a lot of good, ol’ Diablo II lately (as my demonic dream last week would suggest), and I finally got my sorceress to the point where I could unlock the fabled Secret Cow Level. I remember years ago facing the Hell Bovines with an amazon, and getting my butt soundly whupped. That was the only time I’d ever gone toe-to-toe with the axe-wielding cattle, and I have been both fearful of and enthralled by that hidden dungeon ever since.

However, my sorceress walked through the level. Literally. Granted, I have the Spire of Lazarus, which gives me +1 to all skills, and the Peasant Crown, another +1 to all skills, and a random yellow amulet for yet another +1 to all skills, so my girl’s beefed up rather beyond her actual level. Suffice it to say that if you have 10 points in Chain Lightning, you can saunter through the cow level without even being careful. I never took a single hit, and neither did my little rogue pet. I didn’t bother raising my Mana Shield or my Chilling Armor.

The cow level was easy. Too easy. I was sad. I barely even noticed the Cow King. And when I saw that he was immune to lightning, my rogue lackey took him out while I was loading up Glacial Spike. (Either that, or “immune” actually means “resistant to,” and I had already beaten him down along with the rest of the herd with my storm of Chain Lightnings.)

It was actually reassuring to go back to Nightmare Level, Act I, and have to run away from some common Dark Rangers.

(And to anyone who is familiar with Diablo II and actually knows what I’m talking about, this is in single player. No bartering or cheat codes. I’ve had some pretty good luck with item drops this game.)

Oh, but I need a life!

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